1 post tagged “divorce”

It is so weird to wake up on a Monday morning after having had no children all weekend, and not have children tumbling in from their weekend with papa. The house is quiet and kind of lonely.

I have been filling my time with people, though. One a day, just like Dr. Lainie ordered. Yesterday was canoeing with S, Saturday was dinner with H, Friday was La La's with P. Tonight, it's...what? Maybe tonight I will hang out by myself and actually start doing all of those things I thought I was going to over the weekend. hahaha.

I am working morning/afternoons this week instead of my usual evenings, so even that is weird. And I am off work as of Wednesday until next Monday.

hahaha. I am definitely in my to-do list mode right now, and not in my writing mode. WTF is up with that? hehe.

I have been listening to the Cure all morning and slowly getting ready for work. Those of you who don't have children might not appreciate this...but one thing about not having the kids around that is incredibly gratifying is that I don't have to argue with anyone about departure. I don't have to remind anyone to PLEASE put their underpants/socks/shoes...or CLOTHES on. I don't have to explain WHY we are leaving or WHERE we are going. I can just...go. I can UP and fucking LEAVE! hahaha. That, right there, is enough to make me giggle with  giddy glee.

It's been good so far. I have only really sat down and missed the boys 2 or 3 times. There has only been one tearful answering machine message from Cole, which I kicked myself for missing. My sweet mama's boy. For the most part, I feel really good. Their papa has been exceedingly reasonable lately. I don't have that same fear I did last year, when I was not absolutely sure if they would all be ok. That helps a lot. I think I can relax and just enjoy my time for the most part. Enjoy the lack of daily clusterfuckism that comes from having to find a place to put them while I am working...and shuttling them to and fro.

But, you know, also...I miss them. I was listening to a recording I made of me and Coley baking bread together and missing his sweet silliness, and Monk's silly sweetness. It is a good thing I have friends to keep me occupied, because...yeah, as much of a pain in the ass it can be to have the kids around all the time, it sometimes gets to hurting like hell when they aren't.

Ha! But in a week it will be back to complaining and stressing and winging it until the next mama break!