1 post tagged “the twits”

View other items tagged “the twits:” Photos, Audio, Videos, Books or Links. View “the twits” on Vox.

my boys, the twits, and me.

May 21, 2007
2 comments

It's funny. I will have weeks and weeks with my boys, feeling like I have done everything wrong as a parent and I can't possibly keep doing this...and then there is a day like today, when I realize that I have actually somehow managed to give two boys a good start towards leading fully compassionate, empathic lives.

I have had a rough day...a rough weekend, kind of, in ways that are difficult to explain. Just a lot of unpleasant, unwelcome, and unproductive self-examination. The boys were at their dad's all weekend, and when they came home this morning, I just thought "Oh, fuck. I am just not cut out for this job today."

But I did what I know best to do...distract them. Hahaha. I took all of our various portable media devices out with us for an early morning exploration walk, and then we stopped at the park and I tried not to cry my eyes out from exhausted sadness while the neighbor lady played hide and seek with Monk and her kids, and Coley made me various "poisonous" concoctions from sand in the sandbox.

In spite of my gratitude for both of these things, I was still feeling like crap. And, of course, when I feel like crap and I am trying to parent...I feel like double, triple, exponentially compounding crap because, on top of all of the other shit I feel like I am doing a crappy job of, parenting goes to the top of the list because, damn, I just can't get it together to have fun and enjoy my babies for a bit.

Well, I muddled through, trying to be honest with them about how I'm feeling, without putting too much responsibility on them for causing and/or relieving my upset.

There are little snippets throughout the day, though...I know they know when I am down. Coley thrusts plucked wildflowers at me...Monk gives me a rare hug. They argue less...not out of fear, but out of empathy. It's nice. It's really nice.

By story time tonight, I was feeling much better, thanks to a couple of good friends and some time spent at an event that moved me out of my selfish self-pity, as well as viewing an exhibit that inspired me artistically and politically.

We are reading the twits...and we were at the chapter where they Dahl describes Mrs. Twit, thusly:

If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it.

Coley interrupts me here...he says "Mom, do you ever have ugly thoughts?"

I'm thinking "Good fucking lord, kid...ALL FREAKING DAY! And then some." Because damnit if I'm not worried that if Mr. Dahl is correct, I am about to sprout a couple of disgusting boils on my face. But I respond "Well, honey...I think everyone has bad thoughts sometimes."

Coley examines my face for a minute, and we both turn back to the book. I continue reading:

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

Cole looks at me again. "Mom," he says. "You must think good thoughts all of the time, because I think you are beautiful."

And this makes me so happy that I forget to point out that this is a rather simplistic way to introduce the complexities of emotional make-up to small children. In fact, I don't point out anything at all. I just smile, hug both of them closer, and continue reading.

Thank fucking maude for my boys, is all I have to say. Thank fucking maude. I am so not worthy of them.